I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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