Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
