I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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