All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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