Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
