Sober January is a disaster.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
