so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
