I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
