I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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