out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
