dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
