You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
