it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
