My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
