Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
