pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sober January is a disaster.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
