i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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