And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
