I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
