mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
