mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
