Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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