Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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