get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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