i think i have herpe
just one?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
