Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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