Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
