at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
