I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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