Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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