Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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