i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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