i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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