You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
