So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
false alarm, still single
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
