Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Operation Purity has been aborted
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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