Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
