I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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