um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
