I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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