I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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