i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
