so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
