Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
