we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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