i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
