Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
