Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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