would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
