so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
