I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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