K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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