i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
