For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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