we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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