bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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