is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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