How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
