i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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