I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
