I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
