absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
