make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
