Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
