I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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